Have you noticed that falling in love with your first job often comes with expectations that feel very familiar? On your first day, you enter excited to grow and discover new opportunities, while having the feeling that you have it all figured out now. In your head, this job is supposed to click instantly, just like between people in real life.
However, the truth no one tells you early enough is that falling in love with your first job rarely happens overnight. If you think about it, it is the same with people: expecting to fall deeply in love and develop instant chemistry often creates unnecessary pressure and unrealistic expectations.
The honeymoon phase: when everything feels new and exciting
At the beginning, everything about your first job feels exciting: new colleagues, new tasks, a new routine. Usually, most employees feel proud, motivated, and eager to prove themselves. This stage feels a lot like early dating when you only see the positive highlights and assume the rest will work itself out on its own.
Despite this inspirational initial phase, the excitement around your new position often comes with silent pressure. You want to impress, avoid mistakes, and show that you “belong” to the company’s internal culture and team.
Many first-time employees confuse this beginner rush with long-term satisfaction, which can later lead to disappointment once reality settles in.
That is why it is best for new workers to understand that this phase is temporary and they won’t benefit from the stress. They rather should enjoy it while they can without jumping directly to unrealistic expectations.
When routine kick in and doubts appear
A few weeks in your new position, that you were so happy and delighted to begin, the novelty fades away and routine sets in. You start to repeat your tasks, creating your own rhythm of work. Furthermore, the feedback from your supervisors and managers starts to be more direct, while the learning curve during your adaptation period feels steeper than expected.
This is when many people start wondering whether it’s normal to not like their first job.
The answer is “YES”, it is absolutely ok!
This stage, after the honeymoon phase passes, often brings what many call “new job blues”. Your new position is not bad, it is just not as exciting as in the beginning.
Instead of assuming something is wrong or searching for a reason why you are not a perfect fit, you should see this moment as the point where the relationship with your job becomes real.
Just like in dating, comfort and small things replace the initial adrenaline. That is where genuine connection has the chance to grow.
Getting to know each other takes time
Learning a job’s structure, expectations and internal culture, resembles a lot to getting used to the habits and boundaries of the person you love. As we mentioned before, many newbies, not knowing what to expect from the corporate world, underestimate this adjustment period and anticipate clarity far too quickly.
During this phase, it is very helpful to apply the 30-60-90 day rule for a new job. The numbers in this rule correspond to the count of the days since the start of your new job.
Consequently, the first month is all about observing and learning. Within the second month, new workers are already adapting pretty well to their new routine and start practicing acquired skills up until now. By the 90th day mark, you finally understand how things truly work.
The existence of this so-called ‘rule’ proves that falling in love with your first job isn’t about instant confidence, but rather about allowing yourself to dive into the role gradually and grow in the relationship.
Questioning your first job doesn’t mean you failed
At some point, your doubts about the new workplace might break through the surface, even though your adaptation period has already passed and you are fully settled in.
You start overthinking and asking yourself if you chose the right path, or if this role really fits you.
All those thoughts often lead to unnecessary guilt, especially when it comes to comparing yourself to others, who seem way more confident.
From a different point of view, questioning your first job isn’t a sign of weakness, but rather of self-awareness. That is why we compare it to relationships and dating life: reflection helps you understand what you value, what you need, and what you want to avoid next time (only if there is one).
Try to remind yourself that growing out of your comfort zone brings a lot of confusion and does not feel comfortable at all. This is the whole point!
Knowing when something is off
It is also important to mention that not every uncomfortable moment is part of the normal adjustments, after giving you the advice to trust the process and not to assume the worst.
Sometimes, certain things don’t sit right within the work environment and you can sense it. That is the moment when you start noticing red flags in a new job, and they do matter.
There’s a difference between learning stress, constructive feedback, and busy periods and ongoing pressure, constant criticism, and employee burnout. Paying attention to toxic patterns and recognising them will eventually help you distinguish between a role that challenges you and one that drains your energy.
Just like in dating, one awkward moment doesn’t define that your relationship is toxic, but repeated discomfort, as red flags, deserves attention.
What your first job is really teaching you?
Many people believe that falling in love with your first job means staying forever…just like falling in love for the first time with someone.
In reality, your first job’s main purpose is not permanence, but learning, lots of it!
You learn how workplaces function in general, how communication flows, what kind of leadership motivates you, and what environments support your growth best. This knowledge stays with you far longer than the role itself.
In the majority of the cases, the job doesn’t last, however the experience builds confidence and clarity for what comes next in your career path.
When appreciation replaces excitement
Over time, your whole perception of the company and your role shifts. The job may no longer feel thrilled and you might not be over-excited, but you start noticing progress.You understand the expectations towards you and start feeling more and more capable every day.
This, my friends, is the phase where most people don’t realize they’re actually falling in love with their job, just not in the dramatically romantic way they expected.
Loving your job (or your soulmate) isn’t about constant passion, but it’s more about feeling stable, safe, respected, and growing at a sustainable pace.
That being said, all those signs indicating you love your job are often quiet, not loud.
Loving your job doesn’t mean loving every day
We all know that even in the healthiest relationships, not every day feels perfect - and the work aspect is no different.
You should enjoy your job, however this doesn’t mean sacrificing your well-being, or ignoring work-life balance.
Having a healthy relationship with your career allows space for rest, growth, and boundaries that you need more than you think. This balance may not be noticeable now, but it is what makes long-term satisfaction possible.
First love is about learning, not perfection
Your first job, just like your first love, shapes how you approach everything that comes after. It is an unforgettable experience that teaches you patience, self-respect, and awareness.
Despite making you feel like walking over the clouds, not every first love lasts, and to be honest, it doesn’t need to. What matters is that it helps you understand what truly works for you.
One day, you will have all the memories as a glimpse in your head, you’ll look back and realize that falling in love with your first job was never about getting it right immediately. But it was mostly about learning how to build a career that feels right in the long run, and that is what matters!
