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While the job search process is the necessary step towards your professional dreams, it can be a long or tedious activity that may take you on a roller coaster journey of ups and downs.
You know you want a new career/ job, you feel called to make a change, you are excited about new possibilities - you even envision yourself doing something else or somewhere else. Still, sooner or later, you are confronted with rejection, closed doors, confusion, frustration, lack of motivation, or a feeling of being stuck.
First of all, know that all these emotions are absolutely normal during the job search process. However, if not handled properly, they may end up taking too much space in your life, draining your energy, and lowering your confidence.
Whenever you find yourself falling into a loop full of negative thoughts, feeling down, or experiencing uncomfortable emotions, it’s important to interrupt this spiral in a healthy way. You need to bring your attention to your breathing and to the sensations in your body. Stay focused on yourself and your body's needs for a few minutes. You may also want to ask yourself: “What do I need the most right now?” Then, take actions according to what you answered.
Sometimes, all that you need at the moment is to take a break and relax; to walk, to talk to someone you trust, to cry, etc. In some cases, especially when you feel exhausted emotionally and/or physically, it may be necessary to give yourself permission to have a longer break (from few days to few weeks). That will help you release the negative energy, refresh, and open up to the best solutions for the situations you are dealing with.
During phases of rejections, closed doors, restrictions, confusion, etc. it is common to self-doubt, worry, and feel disappointed more than usual.
While this is common, know that your value and self-worth are not dependent on a particular outcome. The process is more important than the result. If you follow the right process with consistency and commitment, you will reach the best outcome for you at the right time.
The feedback you get and the situations you are confronted with can be perceived as your teachers. They can tell you what needs to be done differently, changed, or learned. In fact, they are guiding you towards better options. Personally, I have received many rejections during my job search process and with time, I realized those rejections were actually disguised blessings that led me to even better options.
Having said this, whenever you start doubting yourself, make a list of all the tiny things you did and achieved until now along with your personal qualities/strengths. Indulge in all the good energy that you experience from this. You can also be a bit more playful and record yourself talking about your actions, the progress made, learning, and what you like about yourself.
While you do this, it is important to consider all the small things you did. For instance, when you get rejected for a job, instead of keeping your focus on what didn’t work or happen, focus on what you did and what worked (e.g. “ I feel sad that I didn’t get this job. However, I had the opportunity to have an interview, I could practice my interviewing skills, learn more about the company and their needs, meet new people, enlarge my network, etc.”).
It is much easier for the human mind to focus on what we don’t have instead of focusing on what we have. However, it is not helping us to move forward. While you can keep in the back of your mind what you want to achieve, always focus on what you have right now and the progress you made, no matter how small. Remember that we reach the top of a mountain one step at a time and that adversity is often part of the journey towards our dreams.
Sometimes, in the midst of various challenges, we may lose track of WHY we do what we do and why that is important to us. Hence, our motivation and confidence decrease. By reconnecting with your purpose and what’s important to you, the fuel needed to keep going will increase. You may want to make a vision board to help you visualize your objective and connect with it when you feel down or when you need inspiration.
If you do so, make sure to also express on your vision board what feelings and emotions you associate with the achievement of your objective. Then, ask yourself: “What can I do, here and now, to experience the same feelings and emotions?” and start doing that. Let’s say you want to get a new job to increase your income in order to feel free. In this case, ask yourself: “What can I do here and now to feel free?” Again, think of small things as well. For instance, I experience a sense of freedom when I take time to do an activity that I like, such as meditation, reading, etc.
I couldn’t express more the benefits of gratitude that are proven by more and more studies nowadays. It is so simple, yet so easy to miss it, unless we do it purposefully - at least at the beginning.
I suggest to start or to end your day by listing at least 5 things that you are grateful you did and have. Do this for 21 consecutive days and see what happens. It is best to do this in a written form because you pay more attention to it that way, but it’s also fine if you just make the gratitude list in your head.
Enjoy and know that your career/job search journey is just preparing and strengthening you for your next career/job. Just do your best at making the most out of it!
About the Author:
Tatiana Mitroi is a career and transitions coach, helping her clients find the solutions they need to achieve meaningful career and personal goals. She holds an MBA and has 15 years of professional experience in business, marketing, coaching, and training.
Tatiana’s strength is to offer a safe space for her clients to explore their challenges, needs, frustrations, confusions, doubts, or fears, to have more clarity, to feel motivated, confident, and equipped to achieve what they really want.
Tatiana changed careers 3 times, lived and worked on 2 continents in 4 different countries, and loves nature, well-being practices, teaching, and coaching. Tatiana coaches in English, French, and Romanian
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